My first time gay
In a sexual context, bottoming is the act of taking a dick (or a dick-shaped object) in your ass. When it comes to gay and bi men, a lot of people seem benign of obsessed with operational out who’s a top/giver and who’s a bottom/receiver, but in reality many MSM (men who own sex with men) accomplish both and some act neither. In 2021, it’s painfully heteronormative to presume that sexual intercourse has to involve a hole being filled by something cock-shaped.
On one level, bottoming is really no enormous deal – if you like riding dick, move ahead and ride it. But on another, butt-fucking is still cloaked in myth and stigma. “There’s an association that those who bottom are feminine and those who superior are masculine,” says Ian Howley, CEO of the health and wellbeing philanthropy LGBT HERO. “And we all know where that stigma comes from: Hello, toxic masculinity.”
Happily, Howley says this reductive presumption is finally dying out as we all become more open-minded. “You now glimpse lots of ‘masculine’ men who enjoy bottoming, including straight men who finally found out just how much pleasure they can get from their arse,” he says. Some even like to define themselves as a “p
Tips for cis men who want to try sex with other cis men – in a safe and respectful way
To begin, I’d enjoy to clarify that this article is not necessarily about questioning your sexuality. Everyone should be able to scout their curiosities in a pleasurable and positive way, and it’s important to understand that you can try recent things without subscribing to any fixed labels. These tips are for cis men who long to try sex with other cis men, in a safe and respectful manner.
Note: ‘cisgender men’ or ‘cis men’ refers to men who were assigned male at birth, based on having a penis and other biological characteristics, and identify as men too.Cis is the opposite of trans. We confer trans men morehere, andhere’s some aid and advice about navigating sex and relationshipsfor trans men and trans masculine people.
1. Be loyal from the get-go that you’re curious
Whether you want to hook up with someone you’re already acquainted with (usually a gym bro, according to most porn), or you’ve been involved in a charged emoji swap on Grindr, honesty is fundamental from the beginning. Many queer people are empathetic
Dad died when I was six. The rabbi who lived in the apartment below took over for him. I’m sure he wanted to do Mom. They packed us off to an evil Hasidic summer camp where everyone made fun of us because we didn’t know their crazy prayers. My brother was four. We would secretly meet in the woods, hug each other and bawl. We couldn’t realize why our father died and our mother sent us to this terrible place. I learned to hate all religion and still do.
Mom was a dark-haired, curvaceous looker, juicy, and in her prime. She liked sex but decided that all men had to pay for it. The butcher brought steaks; the florist, flowers; the bagel man left fresh hot steaming bagels by our door every morning for months. Leon, the ice cream man left ice cream. My younger brother and I were posthaste dispatched to obtain the stuff into the house, so they couldn’t spot Mom. And not to forget Abe, the jeweler, who brought, well, jewels. They all tried to get inside. Some did. When Mom met the bloke who brought it all, she married him.
We lived in Borough Park, in Brooklyn. Until I ran away, I thought everyone in the world was either Jewish or Italian. I was intimidated by all the dark, Brooklyn-rough I
Advice for Your First Lgbtq+ Date
Taking a right on Fletcher Drive on the eastside of Los Angeles, there’s a billboard with two male figures under a caption that reads, “Sorry, This Is My First Time Being Gay.” To this day, I have no tip what the billboard is advertising, but my friends and I quote it reflexively whenever we take Fletcher to the I-5. There is something both deeply relatable and incredibly nonsensical about that phrase. The anxiety and insecurity that comes with your first sexual same-sex encounter is universal in the queer collective, and yet the idea that “being gay” is something that can be activated in a single moment is absurd.
Your first queer date, whether that be in high school or your late thirties, can sense daunting. At the time I started questioning my sexuality, I was working in the college library shelving books during the evening shift. As a hapless dork with anxiety, every moment I was in the “queer theory section” (which was expansive in my liberal arts school), I would sit on the floor and read through guide after book in the hopes that some gay savvy would be absorbed through the words. I went down internet wormholes. I took every “